Thirsting for God

When I was younger, I discovered a Psalm that really resonated with me. It set an expectation or a comparison to which I aspire. I’m away on study leave, buried in east Texas forest with big plate glass windows surrounding me. I was neck-deep into some research on cultural attitudes toward God when I sensed movement and saw the image of the picture attached to this blog. Staring back was a young buck wandering through the woods, searching for food and water.

I had no camo clothing on, was not easily concealable. I wasn’t hunting him, wasn’t expecting him, but his appearance delighted my heart. I found pleasure in zooming in on this beautiful, wild animal, probably an older teenager in “deer years.” I longed for him to come closer, to be so close that I could see him in greater detail. And it was then that I remembered the Psalm:

As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God.

I think that’s why I keep coming back to this familiar part of Texas–it takes me back to my roots and reminds me of when my interest in the Lord was purely personal, when my knowledge was limited, but my heart was so hungry to know Him. And after a few hours away from the office, away from the phone, immersed in solitude and silence, I find my heart “thirsty” for that intimacy. . .for HIM. It’s very much like the video we produced a few weeks ago, Fuel in the Tank. It takes some decisive “ceasing” to be ready for the “filling” that we need.

I snapped a few photos, and the deer moved on, not at all interested in ME as I was interested in HIM. And I wondered, “Does God experience that same disinterest, distance, flight, avoidance, or fear from me?

I’m afraid so. So for this day, this week that is so close to a holiday dedicated to THANKING GOD, I am thankful that He intervened in my life. And the longer I sit here looking out on these empty woods, the more I find myself thirsting for the God who spared me, rescued me, and loved me.